GREATNESS, HALL OF

In which our hero shows you that which is deemed to be belonging in such a placed as is called the aforementioned title.

Jack Webb

Whatever happened to men like this? A man's man if ever there was one, Jack "Joe Friday" Webb knew only one level of intensity: Kick Ass. We need more role models like this, plain and simple. I remember one episode of Dragnet, the greatest show ever, where Joe Friday is taking a college course and finds out some hippy queer is stashing grass in his textbook, and subsequently ruins the hippy's shit. You could have cut diamonds with my hard-on after I watched it. The fucker actually thought about running from Joe, then Joe pulled out his power ring (Joe was the Green Lantern before Hal Jordan, but only for about a week, he was way too badass) and blew the hippy straight to hell. Then there's the time that this girl is all upset because Joe Friday kills her loser boyfriend. She screams and cries and Joe just stares at her. Jack also starred in some killer feature films. One of said films was called "The D.I.", which was about a D.I., hence the name. Tell you what, you fuck with this D.I., you'll be digging on the beach for a sand flea, Believe it!